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Dirty-South Blues Harp forum: wail on! >
Netiquette - or forum etiquette
Netiquette - or forum etiquette
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mickil
39 posts
Feb 20, 2009
6:23 PM
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I've just been reading the topic Playing the "Blues", and, to be honest, it struck a few chords with a couple of things that have been flying around in my head since I've been using this forum over the last 3 or 4 weeks. I'm not going to comment directly on the issues raised in that thread. If I were to do so, I'd make these remarks there, not here.
In the time since I joined this community, I've found that, in my opinion, there is not always the respect to others that is supposed to be the obligation that goes with the privilege of having this tool. Perhaps I'm too sensitive, at least others have made that observation.
But, I do know when people are making fun of others. Even a small child can work out the distinction between derision and jocularity, though they may not have the necessary language skills to put their finger on it and point out the folly.
The more I use this forum which, quite frankly, I consider myself extremely lucky to have, the more I get the impression that there are some people who do see it as their own little club. For example, my first topic, though quite serious in the question it raised, was treated at first with what I inferred as mockery. Only when I took the time to rephrase the question and throw in a light-hearted rebuke did I get some thoughtful responses.
So, why do I continue to post comments when I feel like that? Well, it's because of the value of this thing that we have, something that our predecessors would have given their proverbial right arm for, and perhaps something that we take for granted. As a harp obsessed nut, I sometimes have a burning question that I need to throw out to you guys. Quite frankly, a couple of times, I've been a little bit moved by the obvious amount of time that you people have put in to help me out - time is the most valuable thing we have. So, when I read a thread AND I think that I can contribute something useful, I do. It's not because I like to see my own words in print, it's because I know how frustrating this little instrument can be and I don't like the thought of a fellow human going through that. In short, it's give and take.
I know that what is written on the Net can be misread and I appreciate that. It's not the same as talking down the pub with friends, where you can INSTANTLY redress any misunderstanding. Many times, I've hit the Send button in an e-mail and thought, 'Oh sh*t, I shouldn't have said it like that.'
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when you can see that someone has taken the time to write a couple of hundred words because they they have a question that's important to them and they get a short, flippant remark in response, been there. I'm talking about when someone puts up a question and people try to help them out and they don't have the courtesy to follow it up with a 'thanks', been there. I know that most of you don't behave like that, but to those who do - while I can understand that this thing is not the same as face-to-face - just remember that when you put a thread on this forum, you are asking a real person to give you their time.
Perhaps it is bad judgement to put up this post, and perhaps I am out of order, but those things I've mentioned do get up my nose.
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'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchen; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty' - Frank Zappa
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Steve Harvell
17 posts
Feb 20, 2009
6:41 PM
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Well thought out post !
Steve Harvell
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Aussiesucker
143 posts
Feb 20, 2009
6:44 PM
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I think most would agree with you mickil.
There is a lot of tongue in cheek jibing done amongst many of the regulars & this I feel is ok.
What we have to be careful of is that there are contributors from all over the world, different cultures, colours, creeds, sexes etc but all with a common love of playing the blues harp. Language or references that might be acceptable to some as the norm may be distasteful to others.
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KingoBad
23 posts
Feb 20, 2009
7:59 PM
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yeah...yeah...yeah... and don't keep score in kids soccer either... Manners do keep us from killing each other and acting like savages, sure. This is not a big easy poofda(substitute your favorite p word) world out there. It can and is tough. I think the Blues personifies this as well as any music can (perhaps why it is thusly named). Blues is about passion, deprivation, sorrow and HUMOR with which it is hard to suffer the rest without. If you can't take the jester from a blues man... and if your skin is not thick enough... maybe the fray is a little too much for you. I'm all for manners, but I can't abide a wuss either. Perhaps I don't like preaching either when it isn't coming from my pastor. There is a great deal of people helping out here. It is a wonderful environment and I like it as it comes. Some have a harsher flavor than others... that's all. Hard to be considered malicious when there is no damage being done. Your mother taught you to ignore the jackasses, so do it.
Last Edited by on Feb 20, 2009 9:53 PM
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Philosofy
144 posts
Feb 20, 2009
8:07 PM
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I think the problem with this forum is the differing levels of experience of harmonica playing. You have non-musicians, very new harp players asking for advice that, to more experienced players, seems like a joke question. I just started taking lessons after playing for twenty years. My instructor is amazed at both the things I know and don't know. Most questions here are sincere. I hope people here would remember that.
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SilasJackson
41 posts
Feb 20, 2009
8:48 PM
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mickil makes good points. I have experienced the sting of other's barbs here too.
Aussiesucker--good point about the diversity of the forum-I agree.
KingoBad--manners keep MOST of us from killing each other-some exceptions on this one.
Philosofy--nail on the head about experience levels.
The main problem as I see it is this: some people are ASSHOLES, no matter their level of experience, education, race, creed, color, country, sexual preference, car they drive, money in the bank, Johnson length, etc. ASSHOLES, plain and simple. Sometimes, I am one too, but then most of us are at one time or another.
"No Habla Jibber Jabber"--Early Cuyler--Squidbillies--Adult Swim
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oldwailer
516 posts
Feb 20, 2009
9:29 PM
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LOL!!! Well written, Silas! Building up to that punchline beautifully!
Opinions are like assholes too--everybody has at least one! ;-) Here's one of mine:
I think it would be a drag if this great forum had to get all serious and careful of each others toes. It would just take the fun out of being here!
I'm just saying--this "serious" turn of events the last few days sucks, in my opinion.
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SilasJackson
42 posts
Feb 20, 2009
9:37 PM
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oldwailer--thanks for the props. I am the original guy that always steps on his d**k! Damn if I'm goin' ANYWHERE I can't have some fun! LOL. No offense to ANYONE. How about this--let's just all help each other out here.
HERE,HERE?
SJ
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oldwailer
518 posts
Feb 20, 2009
9:54 PM
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I'll drink to that!! (Of course, me & Geordie will drink to most anything)!
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Aussiesucker
144 posts
Feb 20, 2009
10:43 PM
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OW - when it comes to drinks please please never leave me out cause I'm a real sensitive new age politically correct male person and I hate to get offended. As they say 'it's 5 O'clock somewhere' & guess what it's 5pm here right now! Cheers!
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snakes
101 posts
Feb 20, 2009
10:52 PM
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Speaking of drinking here is a sad story someone could use to write blues lyrics (I would but these pain meds won't let me...). I just had a hip replacement (which makes me a real hip dude on the left side at least) and cannot drink because of the bleedin' (pun intended) blood thinner medicine for about 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS FOR GAWD's SAKE. Now there is a tragedy.
No disrespect intended mickil. Oldwailer can attest to my affinity for the libations. What a pain in the a** - oh for goodness sakes I am just patheticly punful.
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Tryharp
97 posts
Feb 21, 2009
1:24 AM
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Mickil,
I think I remember your post that you are refering to above, it was about sucking and swallowing, etc. If thats the one, I thought you tossed a ball up in the air there, and someone was going to belt it! I read the post, and thought long and hard how to help with the question you posed, but I didnt have the particular problem, and didnt have the answer. The guys that made a smart remark maybe did the same. If I had of been one of the first readers I may have left a smart remark along the same lines just for fun. I did think at the time you were being a bit overly sensative given the way the question was posed.
Anyway, just my view, not trying to have a go at you.
You're right, its a great resource and I think 95% is good natured, helpful and fun. I have a fairly strong opinion relating to the other thread you mentioned, but I think weighing in there would just add another page of Bull***t, and at the end of the day i'm fairly sure no one will have changed their views on the matter.
I'm going to have a beer now as well!!
Tryharp
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snakes
102 posts
Feb 21, 2009
2:12 PM
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Silas,
Thank you for the sage advice. Yeah I usually use that train of thoughts when it just involves pain meds, but when they told me this Warfarin stuff is actually a form of rat poison I figured I would toe the line. Hopefully I am not enough of a rat for it to be real effective...
Cheers!
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SilasJackson
45 posts
Feb 21, 2009
10:15 PM
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snakes--You be careful with that rat poison. My Dear Ol' Dad had to take it for years for congestive heart failure. That stuff makes the smallest scratch bleed like a stuck pig!! He passed on to His reward, Jan. 2006. Worst thing I have ever experienced, and I have been through quite a lot in my short 50 years on this rock. That Warfrin IS, no joke used to kill rats. In large doses--to the rat--it makes them hemorhage--they litteraly blead to death internally! God Speed, and a speedy recovery to you. I'm currently recovering from my second spinal fusion due to a Hellascious head on wreck by some idiot who decided to come over on the wrong side of the road when they couldn't stop--cause they were speeding. Impact estimated at 90--yep 90mph,by the police. So I am just blessed to be here!! At least I still have my sense of humor, though it limps a little. LOL.
Peace, All,
SJ
Last Edited by on Feb 21, 2009 10:23 PM
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oldwailer
524 posts
Feb 21, 2009
10:39 PM
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Hey Snakes! I drank an estra cuplas tunight jus for you!
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snakes
109 posts
Feb 21, 2009
11:26 PM
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Wow Silas I am 51 so we are close in age. Thanks for sharing your experience. A lot there to make you a real bluesman. Thanks and take care.
Oldwailer, if I interpreted you correctly thanks for the proxy drink.
Cheers all.
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Philosofy
147 posts
Feb 22, 2009
8:18 AM
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One of the frustrations with having a hobby is finding out someone who shares your enthusiasm is an asshole. Almost every harp player I've met has been friendly: I especially give kudos to Jason Ricci, Marc Hummel, and Joe Filisko for being kind and patient. But every once and awhile you run across a jerk. You'd like to think that all harp players are cool, but unfortunately that's not the case.
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Leanground
48 posts
Feb 22, 2009
3:28 PM
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I'm the guy who responded first with a joke,(it was an easy straightline) then with sincerity, ..I'm a product of my environment learning from coaches and older guys who insulted you and laughed at your screw ups to get your attention then guided you as they thickened your skin for the real world. I'm learning that way still with oldtimers dusting my ass off and expecting me to retaliate with better more honest harp. I wouldn't trade it for the coddling I see now.
I do regret having thrown my two cents in and having hurt someone's feelings
Last Edited by on Feb 22, 2009 4:09 PM
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gene
133 posts
Feb 22, 2009
6:21 PM
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So, what's the consensus here?
No kidding around as buddies do?
No jokes?
No fun?
Just Cut & Dried Q & A?
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djm3801
41 posts
Feb 22, 2009
6:21 PM
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I have inadvertantly offended people when the intention was just some good natured "busting chops". Being a product of the northeast US, it is a way of life. Dealing with people in different areas and cultures, however, is a great education in how easily someone may be unintentionally hurt.
I find the majority of comments here are either in the interest of being helpful, adding to a question, provide supporting commentary, or comedic. Yeah, As Philosofy said (may I call you Philo?), every now and again you run into someone too full of themselves to be courteous or perhaps, a bit blunt. Some learn, some do not.
Either way, a great site with 80% good stuff, 19% humor, and maybe 1% rudeness. That adds up anyway..
Dan M.
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mickil
42 posts
Feb 23, 2009
6:15 AM
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Interesting comments. I can't remark on all of them cos it would take too long. I thought this thread would put the cat amongst the pigeons, and I did think long and hard before posting it.
While I'm in no way confident that I'm right, I am supremely confident that I have the right to express those views. Nevertheless, I can understand why they would really p*ss some people off. I've got a lofty way of writing that may sound like, as Kingobad put it, 'preaching'. It's just the way I write; I love language and I enjoy using it. Also, no one likes being told that they might be wrong. I ain't 'cool' in the way I speak, like some people from over the pond seem to be. It could imitate the lingo to try and fit in, but that would just be stupid.
Since Kingobad is the one who seemed to take the most exception to my remarks, I'll base my responses on what he said. I don't think that some of what he said - or rather, the way he said it - was worth dignifying with a response, my first thought was, 'If the cap fits...' But, he did make some comments that were worth taking on board and discussing.
There's one thing that comes up from time to time on this forum that I find a bit strange; it's not something that really bugs me, it's just something that seems to me like romantic twoddle, namely: the notion that because you play blues that you are somehow different to other people. That's just silly. At college, I studied the American minimilasts, 12-note composition, played in one of the few Balinese Gamelan orchestras in the country, sung in the choir AND I played and sung in rock and blues bands. I could go on, but you get the point. I'm just a musician and a person as well. I agree with what he says about the broad spectrum that the Blues personifies. But that's more about it's history than it is about any of us sitting in our centrally heated comfy homes. I've been where those folks of old have been, no home, no job and all that. But, I'm lucky enough to live in a time and a place where that kind of deprivation isn't going to be the same for me as it was for those old boys who were once young and riding in box cars.
Like I said, I'm just a musician and a person. People come in all different varieties, about 6 billion at the moment and counting. They all take what others say differently. That doesn't mean that any of them are necessarily right or wrong. I don't think it makes them a 'wuss' either. I sometimes think that a wuss is someone who keeps their mouth shut when they have something to say. On the other hand, it is sometimes better to keep your mouth shut. I've always found that one tricky to juggle.
Of course, he might be right that if I can't stand the fray then I should stay away. But that cuts both ways. If you come on this forum and don't give a monkey's about what other people think of what you say then you are going to get up people's nones. Someone is going to object. I've seen it before. Now I've objected, and no doubt someone will again.
In the unlikely event that I was barred from using this forum for expressing my views then that would be fine. I've said what I think. In the meantime, however, I'll stay around and add what I can. I've been playing music for as long as kudzurunner has, I've taught piano, and I've taught music in school. I know a thing or two, and I don't contribute unless I think I can either give my own knowledge or someone else's by proxy. Of course, just like in the real world, there are going to be some people that it's better to avoid. I can live with that.
Just one last thing. Where I come from, you don't bring peoples' mothers into the argument. For all you know, their mother may have just died or be dying. Whatever I say on hear, I'll never climb down in that hole.
Mick
EDIT: gene, good idea about the consensus. That's what I was hoping it might spark.
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'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchen; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty' - Frank Zappa
Last Edited by on Feb 23, 2009 6:57 AM
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gene
134 posts
Feb 23, 2009
4:46 PM
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"... Of course, just like in the real world, there are going to be some people that it's better to avoid...."
Excellent point.
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gene
135 posts
Feb 23, 2009
5:03 PM
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Browse through these forums. Take notice of how these people interact with one another. Lots of joking around, lots of fun. They've built online friendships.
http://www.harptabs.com/phorum-3.4.8a/index.php
http://deltafrost.com/forum_topics.asp?FID=1
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mickil
48 posts
Feb 23, 2009
5:29 PM
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You're right gene. I'm fairly new to this. The smoking ban in the UK has killed off my social life, and this thing is one of the ways I try to fill that void. I'm still getting used to the way that people interact on here, but I'd lay a penny to the pound that you're spot on. If I'm honest with myself, I've seen what you're talking about.
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'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchen; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty' - Frank Zappa
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gene
136 posts
Feb 23, 2009
7:14 PM
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Welcome aboard!
To Hell with the ban. Let's step out for a smoke.
Last Edited by on Feb 23, 2009 7:39 PM
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Oisin
120 posts
Feb 24, 2009
2:22 AM
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I think this thread just confirms what I've always hoped...that people are depressingly, happily and reassuringly different all over the blues harp community and the world.
Vive la difference!
(forgive my french)
Oisin
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Preston
152 posts
Feb 24, 2009
4:59 AM
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I agree Oisin. The day we have a consensus on what is acceptable here is the day it just ain't fun anymore. Difference is the spice of life.
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.
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